Young Islamic men and women or boys and girls do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together and "getting to know one another" in a very deep way as a precursor to selecting a marital partner. Rather, in Islamic culture, pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex are forbidden. Islam believes the choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life—with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.
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5 Courtship Rules All Modern Daters Should Know
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In addition to this question, some readers have told me the book harmed them. Two years ago I began a process of re-evaluating the book. This included inviting people to share their stories with me on my website, personal phone calls with readers, an in-depth study of issues surrounding my book overseen by one of my graduate school professors, and finally, creating a documentary film that captured the conversations with people who were reshaping my thinking. It has been drawn out because I did not want to be superficial in my response, and I have made it public because I think my reevaluation should be commensurate to the public reach of my book. I no longer agree with its central idea that dating should be avoided. I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner.
The Dos and Don'ts of Teenage Dating