Last weekend, after braving a darty and dancing for two hours at a dive bar, my overtired friend asked everyone in our Lyft if they still had feelings for their first love. Although most of my friends had Marie Kondo'd their high school boos years ago, the sentiment started an interesting conversation: Can you be in love with your current partner and still love your ex? If my poly friends have taught me anything, it's that having feelings for someone doesn't negate your feelings for someone else. Even in a monogamous relationship, you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways. Still, if you're newly in love, it's natural to wonder what it means when you feel some heat for an old flame. That is completely normal.
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When I break up with someone I ship them off to an imaginary island where they roam free and make coconut snowmen and live very happy, very celibate lives far, far away from me. The fix : My advice is to block them both the second the status appears. Is she prettier than me? Is she smarter? Is she taller? Is she funnier?
How to Get Your Ex Back if She is Dating Someone Else
A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else. Under that logic, I've never gotten over anyone in my life. Months and sometimes years after a relationship, my heart rate still accelerates when I see an ex is dating someone new on Facebook. Over a year after I ended one relationship, I found some photos on Facebook of my ex with a woman I didn't recognize. It was like we were still together and he cheated.
The next thing that happens after you break up with someone — this is after the tears, the drama, the denial, the anger, the acceptance, maybe a sneaky shag, more anger, more acceptance and then closure — is moving on. Some people start dating to force themselves to move on, some to bury the pain and yes, some are just ready to jump back in the saddle. You should be focusing on yourself and your own future rather than worrying about his. If you have had the chance to lick your wounds, heal, learn and move on, you stand a better chance of happiness.