As someone living with generalized anxiety disorder , the idea of putting myself into an anxiety-inducing situation—from public speaking to a first date—can make me want to hide under the covers and stay there permanently. According to Lisa Shull Gettings, a psychologist at Long Island Jewish Medical Center, for some people, anxiety can make their dating lives almost non-existent. However, while this may reduce our anxiety in the short-term, it can inevitably leave us feeling isolated and unsatisfied. Psychotherapist Vanessa Kensing says that anxiety can pop up if we perceive a particular part of the dating process to be stressful. Because dating generally involves lots of uncertainty, feeling anxious about it is normal, but that anxiety can impact some of us in more intense ways. More than this, Shull Getting says that anxiety can also lead people to share personal details very quickly in an effort to fill space or keep the conversation flowing.
DATING MAZE #299: Under Pressure
How to De-Stress Dating and Stop Tying Your Worth to Relationships
The ups and downs in this cycle can make you feel like you are unbalanced and have whiplash. Does someone accidentally fall on you in the grocery store? I find that super intriguing, want to go get a drink? Several times during my dating experiences, I had to shut down my various online dating profiles for a few months and lick my wounds. Potential turns into Mr. Wrong with such break-neck frequency. It often became necessary to stop everything and reflect on why dating experiences had been such abysmal failures.
Virtual dating FOMO is real. But don't feel pressured if it's not for you.
Dating is exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time, but if I'm being honest, it can also be pretty exhausting. It just feels like there's so much pressure on every date. With so many options and what can sometimes feel like not enough options , it's already hard to find someone to go on a date with. It's easy to forget what dating should be: Fun. Having a few go-to, casual date ideas to keep the pressure low can feel like a godsend when you just want to hang out with someone cool and get to know them.
Internet dating, social dating, Facebook dating, or the old-fashioned way of meeting offline at work or with a little help from your friends or grandmother. There are so many more options available to singles dating in the digital age, yet so many can't seem to connect. What's a single dater to do? As an online dating expert and coach, one of the top questions I'm frequently asked is, which method is better?