It is simultaneously cast as consistently fun and ultimately tragic; essential for fulfilment but only truly acceptable in the past tense. A lot of my friends are in relationships, so when it gets to the weekend and I'm asking what everyone is doing, suddenly every man and his dog is off to Center Parcs. You can't help but think, what am I doing? I worry for the men who don't have people around them that they can talk to about feeling alone. I can see why the suicide rate among men my age is so high because it can really feel like you've failed at life. We're being boxed into identities or stereotypes that we feel uncomfortable in, or that wider social gender stereotyping has created in the first place.
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I was born and raised on the east coast where there was a huge traditional mindset between men and women. Men were taught to be disposable while women were taught to be pedestalized. This mindset turned me into what is well known as a beta male. I was never taught how to actually treat women or how they were biologically designed to respond to males. Instead, I was taught an idealized version of what men should be, the nice guy, and that is how you attract women. For years, I continued to do the same wrong things over and over, gaining the same results.
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